Fantasy Sports

An Apology To My Wife In Advance For The Upcoming Fantasy Football Season …

Dear Wife,

I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for ignoring you the next few months.  I don’t want it to be like this, but it just is.  You need to understand, Fantasy Football has become the last connection I have to my glory years, where my friends and I can tell stories about our college days and pretend that we’re not in our early 30s with wives and real responsibilities.

I’m sorry for having my alarm set at 3AM on Wednesdays so I can beat everyone in my league to the waiver wire.  This is why I opt to sleep on the couch.  It’s not you, it’s me.  I know this seems a bit extreme, but just look at it from my perspective.  If anything, it speaks to my work ethic and my desire to go above and beyond for the things I care about, which in this case, is making sure that if I don’t win the player I bid on, that I can get the next best option for the betterment of my team.  This is something that I plan on carrying into our lives as well.  I’ll never settle for second best, but in the event that something doesn’t go our way, I’ll look to move forward and put ourselves in the best position to win at life.

I’m also sorry that you have to stay at your parent’s house on Sundays because I scream at the TV at such a fever pitch that it startles you as you go about trying to live your every day life.  Believe me, I’m no dummy, I know that Sunday is a day to recharge and get your mind, body and spirit ready for the work week, and that I’ve taken that away from you, but please realize that it’s for a great cause – bragging rights.  I know you may not understand why that’s important and that it may seem childish even, but trust me when I say that it definitely matters in the grand scheme of things.

… I’m also sorry for ruining Monday and Thursday Nights.  I know you just want to watch Dateline or the LifeTime Network, and for that, I apologize.

Lastly, I’m sorry for refusing to go to any and all Baptisms, 1st Birthdays and Communions with your friends and family during this time.  I know family means a lot to you, but if I’m being honest with myself, I know that deep down these kids won’t remember that I wasn’t there.  However, my team will remember.  They’ll remember when their GM deserted them for some Birthday Cake and a few hours in Church.  I can’t have that.  They deserve better.  They need me.  They depend on me.  Just like you’ll be able to depend on me as soon as the Fantasy Football Season is through.  To quote N’SYNC, “this I promise you.”

With Love,

Your Husband.


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